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Have You Noticed? 1. If you suck one nipple, the woman herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"! 2. Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy...No wonder men suffer from high BP! 3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're screwed. 4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it. 5.When u lick d dick the man gives u all to suck. Moral: Treat ur man like a King he will give u his life to care 6. 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment! 7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason. 8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..! 9. When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters.. 10. Now that I've educated you.....do same

During a wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer and said "Pastor, I'll give you N50,000 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to that part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honour and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever', Please just omit it." So he gave the pastor 50k and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding,when the time came for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Do you promise to love and honour her, prostrate yourself before her, obey her every commandand wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovelywife that you will NEVER EVER look at any other woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, answered in a tiny voice, "Yes I do" then leaned toward the pastor and whispered: "Oga, I thought we had a deal nau." The pastor quickly squeezed N60,000 into the groom's hand and whisperedback: "Nna I’m sorry. She offered 100k. I’ve added 10k to your money as interest. Good luck."

ZODI's FUN TIME!!! MY COUNTRY 9ja (1) Where ladies don't accept flowers for valentine or birthday gift, but prefer Murtala Mohammed Head. (2) Where lizards go look your eyeball, nod head and say "notin dey happen guy" (3) Where a blind beggar will reject a fake naira note. (4) Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles & Waters sold in Satchets. (5) Where parents claim they always came first position in school. (6) Where You Can Be A Driver For Years Without A 'DRIVER's LICENCE' (7) Where Presidents and other government officials don't knowthe national anthem. (8) Where the govt dont give a hoot about nobody. (9) Where Gala and Lacasera is the best option when stuck in traffic jams (hold up). (10) Where you are jailed for stealing Maggi and yam and others given a chieftancy title for stealing billions and Front row seat in churches. (11) Where we fight for everything. To gain admission to university, to get a job and to enter a bus! (12) Where you are robbed of your phone and the robbers come back for your Pin code and the charger. (13) Where politicians use big unnecessary grammar to scam people. (14) Where your type of GENERATOR shows how RICH you are. (15) Where you can easily blame your not been successful on family members in the village. (16) Where rich men must have a pot belly, and a healthy looking, slim Man is despised in the street as a pauper. (17) Where if you where do anyhow you see anyhow. (18) Where generator is a social amenity. (19) Where people dey collect change for beggar hand. (20) Where People produce Toyota Camry jeans and Dr. Dre slippers (21) Where the man who had no shoes becomes the president. (22) Where a 60-yr-old grandpa is a National youth leader of a party (PDP). (23) Where citizens are more afraid of Police than Armed robbers. We are always proud to be called Nigerians despite all these odds. I L √ ﻉ NIGERIA WITH PASSION. What about Urs??? Keep the fun rolling

Prov.4:20-27 You will marvel at yourself if you take out time to think on some things you do. Have you ever taken the pains to do a little research over some fashion trends and styles? We are created thinking beings. Being a spiritual person does not stop you from thinking. Any other culture outside Christ will drag you down to immaturity. When you stick to God, he brings the best out of you and develops a well-informed character in you. Fix your attention on Jesus. Never allow your mind imbibe corruption and evil. As your mind is renewed, be careful every day. There are Christians who claim that their minds are renewed and they go ahead to do all kinds of things on the outside and still think that their minds remained renewed. As a Christian, do you jump at anything without thinking? That is dangerous. You tell some Christians that there are places you should not go, books you should not read, films you should not watch, internet sites you should not visit, that you place limitations on how far you relate with the opposite sex - then they tell you "Bro, you need a renewed mind". You ask, so if you have a renewed mind, you should be touching anything you want to touch and be looking at anything you want to look at. Rubbish! You wonder what kind of renewing of mind they are talking about when great Christians like Paul could write “Abstain from all appearances of evil” (1Thess.5:22). When men as spiritually powerful as Job made covenants with their eyes on what to see and not to see (Job 31:1) PRAYER Your word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against you.

Akpos got 0% marks in an exam and he was surprised because his my answers were seemingly correct! Do you feel that akpos was wrongly penalised ? This are d questions and answers below: Q.1- In which battle did anini Die ?.. Ans.- In his Last Battle.. Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed? Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page.. Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?.. Ans.- Marriage.. Q.4- benue river Flows in which State ?.. Ans.- Liquid State.. Q.5- When was mandela Born ?.. Ans.- On His Birthday.. Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 oranges among 6 People ?.. Ans.- By Preparing orange juice..!! If u were the teacher, what would u score akpos

I'm now a Graduate And My Boyfriend Is A Truck Driver, How Do I dump Him Without Hurting His Feelings? Dear friends, I am a 23year old female. My parents died when i was 8 then I dropped out of school because no one could afford to pay my fees. I then met this guy when i was 14 and he sent me back to school. He was selling fruit then but still he was Able to pay my fees. He then got a job as a truck driver and sent me to University. My problem is that i feel i can't continue with this relationship because he is not my type, he isn't fluent in English, he is a very short man, plus some other Personal stuffs. I feel I have paid him back for his Good Deeds because I give him sex anytime and anywhere he wants. But now he can't meet up to my demands. How best can i tell him that he is not my type without hurting his feelings?? I am grateful that he sent me to school but i can't be in a relationship with him anymore. I want somebody in my own class not a truck driver. Please help! ADICE PLZ

PRESENTER AKPOS: What’s your contribution? CALLER: There is this lady I wanted in my life shortly after my NYSC, But all my efforts proved abortive. She wouldn't pick my calls, she would laugh at me while passing by for reasons best known to her, 5 months later, I was able to get an apartment, get a new car courtesy of a contract job I secured with a major oil company. Now most of the missed calls I have are hers, barrage of sms and all that. I am confused on what to do. Please advise me. PRESENTER AKPOS: Listen up, give her a call letting her know you will be at her house in 2hrs time. When it’s time call her up and delay for another 2hrs. Take a cool Shower, wear a nice outfit and attention catching perfume. When it’s time drive to her house, walk to her door and knock, once she opens, with d sexiest smile you've got, look stylishly into her eyes, draw her slowly to yourself, take your mouth close to her ear and whisper ''THUNDER FIRE U'. Pls is Akpos right or not?????

TEACHER: (drew a map of Nigeria on d board) Who can tell me what I drew on The board? STUDENTS: no answer TEACHER: So nobody can tell me what is on dat board, huh ? STUDENTS : no answer except Akpors. TEACHER: ok Akpors come out. Who else? STUDENTS: No answer. TEACHER: Is it only Akpors that is In dis class? (realy angry) ok Akpors take dis cain & give everybody in dis class five, five strokes. After the caining, the whole class were in tears. TEACHER: Now Akpors tell dem what I drew on d board? AKPORS: Yam TEACHER: What? AKPORS: Na so, It resemble yam nw. Mama Akpors is currently helping Akpors press his bottom with hot water afta receiving 65 strokes of cain by d angry students. What word do you think best describes Akpors?

Boss says to secretary: For a week, we will go abroad, so make arrangements. Secretary makes a call 2 her Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, so look after yourself. Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let's spend the week together. Secret lover makes a call to a little boy whom she is giving private lessons: I have to work for a week, so you need not come for class Little boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week, I don't have classes 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together. Grandpa ( d boss ) makes a call to his Secretary: This week I am spending time with my grandson. We can't attend the meeting any longer. Secretary makes a call to her husband: My boss has some personal matters to attend to, so our trip is cancelled. Husband makes a call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip. Secret lover makes a call to little boy whom she is giving private lessons: This week we will have classes as usual. Little boy makes a call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't keep you company. Grandpa makes a call to his secretary: Don't worry, this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangements. Question - WHO CONTROLS THIS CHAIN???

As ugly and poor as u are you still have a young man/woman who accepted and love you as a wife/husband while those who are full of beauty and riches are still fasting and praying for a life partner. As dull as u are you are, still u were able to graduate form higher institution with good grade, while some so called brain box suffered set back and graduated with tear due to poor result. Though ur parent were a nobody, yet u were able to obtain a divine connection that caterpoted u to the high places while those with rich parents still struggle between god fathers for connection that may never come. Though you don't always have money to eat balance diet yet ur immune system is far stronger that that of many rich and highly placed individuals, no wonder they re easyly diagnosed with deadly diseases llike kidney failure, heart attack, liver problem and different type of cancer that u don't even know exist. Dear reader, if you can't thank God for the garri you are eating now, supergetti may never cross ur mouth. You must understand that ur present condition is someone's else prayer request. So therefore don't be too in a hurry or busy to say Father am grateful.

“A terror kingpin on the list of wanted terrorists of security forces in Nigeria has been detected in the ongoing screening of the 486 suspects nabbed while travelling in over 33 Hiace Hummer buses at night along Enugu-Port Harcourt Expressway last Sunday - General Chris Olukolade DHQ. Some disillusioned persons, some of them known apologist of a political party were all over blogospere yesterday labeling Nigerian military all sorts and demanding for the release of the 486 boko haram suspects arrested in Abia state. They concluded that the arrested were harmless and jobless youths who were on their way to PH in search for greener pastures even when the security agents are yet to come out with a statement. With the above revelation by DHQ, isn't it clear some known facebook analysts are indirectly aiding and abetting terrorism in the name of politics? When did we sink this low? It so painful some of us have allowed party affiliation and utter hatred for the leadership of the country to becloud our sense of judgement and responsibility.The security of this nation is our collective responsibility,we must allow our security agents to do their job, if terrorism must be stamped out, we all must be involved.

When Akpos got admission, his dad used 2 advise him not to join cult and that he should stay away from trouble. So one day his daddy called saying "am just watching NTA news now and there is crises in your school, where are you?" Akpos told him that he was in his room. His dad asked if he locked his door, he said yes, His dad said "that is my son!" So 1hr later his dad called and asked him what caused the problem and Akpos told him that they increased school fees from N27,000 to N127,000. His dad was now like, "wait my son I want you to tell me the truth, where are you right now?" Akpos told him he was in his room. His dad was now like, "are u stupid? Will you get out of that room and join the riot!" Akpos said, "dad remember you told me to stay out of trouble." His dad provoked "forget what I told you before and do what am telling you now, join the riot, kill somebody if possible!"

Some women just want to get married not because of love but because age is no longer on their side. Some will leave their current bf who is still struggling to make things better for "them" to marry an already made man. And when you start having problems in your marriage you come out screaming all men are the same. If you at least use your heart and use your eyes well you wouldn't meet the wrong men. Marriage is not a gate way to heaven. A lot of women would do anything to make a man put a ring in their finger...why? Because of what the society has to say. Some of you get married because of the society. Some rush into marriage because they don't want to be left out "after all all their friends are getting married or already married." African Mentality: A woman at 40 who isn't married is a failure. Who told you EVERYONE is destined to marry? A single woman who lives fine and healthy is better than the married woman who her husband beats everyday.. My point is; If you want to get married get married because you have found the right one and not because age is no longer on your side or because people are going to mock you. Don't let what people say make you to make the wrong choice. The society won't be there with you in marriage o. If you no marry dem go talk, if you marry and husband dey beat you dem go talk, if you no born dem go talk, if u born quick dem go talk, you born late dem go talk, you divorce dem go talk, you refuse to divorce to bear the beating and the emotional abuse dem go talk, you die in marriage dem go talk....they are ready to buy burial cloth just to eat rice and chicken when you are no more. And what happens next? LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT YOU... The moment you start doing things because of YOU and not because of what people have to say the better for you.

When you are out there looking for that perfect person,keep these things in mind. People change no matter how hard they try not to.As you grow older,you mature and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas and different needs and wants.The person who was perfect for you at 20's could be the person you hate at 30's.You have to find someone who will grow with you,change with you,laugh with you.Don't allow your love to be bought with a mere cash. GENTLEMEN,don'tlook at the outward configuration of a lady while selecting.How many assets must you have before you settle down? Be responsible. LADIES,the poor guys you are neglecting today can still rule the world.Stop selling yourself for a cheap price.Stick to one guy. Remember that there's no such perfect person in this world.but there will always be someone who will complete you.

When you set out for Ithaca ask that your way be long, full of adventure, full of instruction. The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops, angry Poseidon - do not fear them: such as these you will never find as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare emotion touch your spirit and your body. The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops, angry Poseidon - you will not meet them unless you carry them in your soul, unless your soul raise them up before you. Ask that your way be long. At many a Summer dawn to enter with what gratitude, what joy - ports seen for the first time; to stop at Phoenician trading centres, and to buy good merchandise, mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony, and sensuous perfumes of every kind, sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can; to visit many Egyptian cities, to gather stores of knowledge from the learned. Have Ithaca always in your mind. Your arrival there is what you are destined for. But don't in the least hurry the journey. Better it last for years, so that when you reach the island you are old, rich with all you have gained on the way, not expecting Ithaca to give you wealth. Ithaca gave you a splendid journey. Without her you would not have set out. She hasn't anything else to give you. And if you find her poor, Ithaca hasn't deceived you. So wise you have become, of such experience, that already you'll have understood what these Ithacas mean.

Let us stop for a moment and look at oulselves in another way. From time to time it seems that despite of all our efforts, we experience various negative emotions in our lives, such as despair, anxiety, fear, apathy, mistrust or anger. When we have troubled relationships with our family members or collegues at work. When our destiny leads us into some difficult situations in business or we have problems with health. Or we just feel tired of our daily routine... Sometimes all of us might feel lost in this life, when we need support and encouragement as well as wise words, that may help to look at the situation from another point of view. Maybe it would be a spiritual conversation with a person, that you feel trust and respect for. Or reading of the Bible, or other spiritual literature. Or you can spent some quiet moments in the forest, by the lake, or other place in nature, trying to listen to the voice of your heart, as when you learn to listen, it might tell you much more then you could expected. So, here at www.emmanuelzod.com, we always inspire you to do even more.

Which Son is the Wisest? One day a father went to his three sons and told them that he would die soon and he needed to decide which one of them to give his property to. He decided to give them all a test. He said "Go to the market my sons and purchase something that is large enough to fill my bedroom, but small enough to fit in your pocket.From this I will decide who of you is the wisest and worthy enough to inherit my land." So they all went to the market and bought something that they thought would fill the room, yet was still small enough that they could fit into their pockets. Each son came back with a different item. The father told his sons to come into his bedroom one at a time and try to fill up his bedroom with whatever they had purchased. The first son came in and put some peices of cloth that he had bought and layed them end to end across the room, but it bearly covered any of the floor. Then the second son came in and layed some hay, that he had purchased, on the floor but there was only enough to cover half of the floor. The third son came in and showed his father what he had purchased and how it could fill the entire room yet still fit into his pocket. The father replied "You are truly the wisest of all and you shall recieve my property." What was it that the son had showed to his father?...........ansa and get ur reward

‪‬Jesus Christ died on the cross of Calvary to provide healing, deliverance, salvation and all of God’s blessings for those who will accept Him as their personal Lord and Saviour. If you have not experienced or enjoyed any of these benefits of Calvary, it means that you are yet to totally accept Him as the Lord of your life. This is what the Bible meant in John 14:6. In other words, if you have not experienced or enjoyed any of the benefits of Calvary, it means that you are yet to express the necessary trust in Christ Jesus. When we express the necessary trust in Christ Jesus, His duty is to raise us from death to life and restore the wholeness and fellowship. When you express the necessary trust in Christ Jesus, His duty is to raise you from sickness to good health, from yoke to deliverance, from failure to success, from poverty to prosperity, from hopelessness to hope and from frustration to fulfilment. PRAYER: Lord Jesus Christ, let the benefits of Calvary fall afresh on me, in Jesus' name!

Mr Aliu William, a Nigerian was aspiring to go to Botswana to study Accounting at university . He came to The SCOAN and was privileged to receive the Anointing Water and Anointing Sticker. He went to Botswana and filled out the student residence permit and ministered the Anointing Water on his documents. The normal process was 3 months. After 1 month and 3 weeks he received a call from Immigration in Botswana that his student’s residence permit was approved. As he left the Immigration office, he went to a shop and two armed robbers stole his envelope that contained his student residence permit, passport and Anointing Sticker. He chased them hoping to catch them but to no avail. He went to the police and reported his case but the police officers said that this has happened to other people and there was nothing they could do about it. He went home and ministered the Anointing Water on himself and prayed, then slept. He had a dream where Prophet T.B. Joshua instructed him on what to do to get his documents back. When he woke up, he went down to the shopping centre and placed a lost and found advert of the shopping centre notice board. In the evening on the same day, an old woman called him up and told him that his documents had been found in a dustbin. On hearing the good news, he went down and retrieved his student’s residence permit, passport and Anointing Sticker all intact inside the envelope. Glory to God.

Mr & Mrs Enefoik were facing the problem of barrenness for many years. When Mrs Enefoik was a young girl, she was very sick and had appendicitis. She underwent five operations and as a result of complications of the operations, the doctors said that she would never be able to bear a child. Before her husband married her, many people tried to discourage him from marrying her, saying that she would not be able to have children. Her husband still went ahead to marry her. When she was introduced to Emmanuel TV, she decided to come to The SCOAN and she received the Anointing Water. After ministering the Anointing Water and praying with it, everything in her system normalised to the glory of God! Mr & Mrs Enefoik met as husband and wife. One morning, last year, she woke up, feeling dizzy. When she went to the doctor, he confirmed that she was pregnant and today she is here to show the whole world what God has done for her. Mr Enefoik also suffered from an addiction to smoking for over 20 years. He could smoke two to three packets of cigarettes, including marijuana, every day. Without smoking, he would not be able to eat or even sleep. He was experiencing pain in his heart and his doctor advised him to stop smoking immediately but something kept pushing him to smoke but when he ministered the Anointing Water on himself, in Jesus’ name, instantly the urge to smoke stopped! Before coming to The SCOAN, Mr & Mrs Enefoik were living from hand to mouth in abject poverty but after praying together with the Anointing Water, their business of selling chewing sticks went international in four different countries. Today, they are millionaires. They have built a beautiful, big house. They advised that if you are looking for breakthrough, come to Jesus Christ!

“I am healed. I can see, thank You Jesus!” It was a shout of joy as Miss Charlie Alexis Richards from USA – once blind, finally received her full sight. It was a priceless thing to have happened to her considering the opposition she encountered on her way. People tried to discourage her, telling her that it was not worth travelling all the way to Lagos to be prayed for. Even after she had made up her mind to come to The SCOAN, at the airport right there in America, she discovered that her feet had swelled. Not only that, her baggage was sent to a wrong destination. But her will to seek the face of God and His intervention in her matter was so strong that she could not allow any detractors stop her. She added that before coming to The SCOAN, she had a dream where she was in the church auditorium. Everything looked the same but there were no chairs. Then, she saw herself in a line of people. The man of God called her to come forward as she was late. She went forward to the front and what looked like hospital came down upon her. Inside the hospital, she saw a hospital curtain which she ran inside and pulled it closed around her. Inside there, she saw surgical tools of all kinds all around the walls. Afterwards, a man came to her and said she could see the screens in front of her. She instinctively replied that she could not but the man insisted that she could and when she tried, she found out that her blind eye could now see the objects in front of her. Finally finding herself at the prayer line of The SCOAN that historical day, she witnessed the launch of the New Anointing Water. She explained her experience under the power of the Holy Spirit, “As soon as the Anointing Water fell into my eye, I felt like something was moving in my blind eye. I lost control. I could not find a hand to hold and fell to the ground.” Unknown to the human eye and those that were in her vicinity, a divine operation was taking place just as she had experienced in her dream. After a few minutes, her eye popped open, darkness disappeared and to her inexpressible joy, she was able to see the man of God, Prophet T.B. Joshua, clearly for the first time. In the Book of Isaiah, it was foretold that when Jesus Christ would come, the lame would walk, the dead would be raised and the eyes of the blind would see. The age of miracles has not passed; the Miracle Worker is still alive. His name is Jesus Christ.

(THE TESTIMONY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ WAS GIVEN ON THE 15th OF JUNE 2014) She came from Zambia and was once a prolific transporter. On encountering a huge setback, she lost her vehicles, her houses and everything she had. Her husband had also lost his job and as a result, they were not able to take care of their children, put them in school or even to feed them adequately, so they decided to return to their village. In the village, they were offered a small farm where a man used to keep his pigs and an uncompleted building to live in. Her husband agreed, saying that he could make a thatched roof over that place and they would be able to manage it from there. One day, a lady came from the city who told her about Emmanuel TV and was introduced to a friend who was a pastor who would bring the Anointing Water from The SCOAN soon. The pastor came and gave her the Anointing Water which she ministered all over herself and her environment. Four days later, her husband not only received his job back, he also received a promotion. In ordinary circumstances, it was not possible to be promoted before another 12 month period in that company but in just three months, he was promoted again to the post of Permanent Manager, now earning three times what he was earning in his first position. Through this breakthrough, the family have been able to resume their transport business big time! The family have now relocated back to the city and are no longer caretakers of the ‘piggery house’! They have since then been able to build a row of 12 shops in the space of 6 months. Their children have also been able to go back to school and passed their exams with flying colours after receiving the Anointing Water. The children had not been attending school for three whole terms due to the difficulties the family had faced but God gave them a supernatural breakthrough in their academics. She had never seen Emmanuel TV before and today was her first time in The SCOAN. It touched her heart that she had to go to Prophet T.B. Joshua, who God used to restore and refresh her life to thank God for His wonderful work. I equally declare uncommon breakthrough into your life in Jesus Name.

There ones lived a family in China, a man and his daughter, and one day, the daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed. Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?” “Potatoes, eggs, and coffee,” she hastily replied. “Look closer,” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face. “Father, what does this mean?” she asked. He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity– the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak. The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new. “Which are you,” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean? “ Moral: In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us. Which one are you?

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not. He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were. Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

Read and u will understand How Things Work In Real Life... Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how stuffs happen in real life.

Sadly,nobody has a perfect relationship because there will be days that you will argue and fight.It's all about having a partner who is willing to wipe your tears away and hold you in their arms after a fight and who will not walk away from you,no matter how rough and difficult things get.For those having misunderstandings in your relationships,don’t think that giving up is the solution,just take a look into your heart,accept your mistakes,if you’re the one in wrong meet him or her and apologize to them.Find new ways of relighting that old first love that both of you had for each other that is if you don’t want to lose that person.And always have it in minds that all relationships go through the ups and downs.No way to escape them and no one who is flawless on this planet.So prior you let him or her go out of your life,first try your damnedest to make everything better.Smartly play your role,if there is no positive outcomes,then don’t over press your lover,Let them go no matter how painful it is.Trust me if they were meant for you,they will come back to you.And if he or she doesn’t get back,be strong,that’s not the end of your love story,life goes on.I know it’s not easy,you will cry,the memories you shared together will keep on replaying in your head.But after rubbing your tears,ask yourself why are you crying? Are you crying because you are going to be lonely or because you have lost that person? Ask yourself is the person you’re crying for worth your tears? Did he or she truly loved you from the heart? After that get down on your knees,pray to God to make you strong again,to help you never to cry for the same reasons again and to help you find a new understanding,caring and serious lover who will love you the way you are.

A very poor woman called a Christian radio station asking for help. A bad, evil man who was listening to this radio program decided to make something out of it. He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy food and take to the woman with the following instruction. "when the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that its from the devil.'' When she arrived, the woman was so happy and she started putting the food inside. The Secretary asked her, ''don't you want to know who sent the food''?? The woman answered. ''NO , it doesn't matter, because when GOD orders, even the devil obeys." The secretary broke into tears. * Now, READ this CAREFULLY* You are a divine project, so shall God accomplish whatever that concerns you. That thing in your life that seems impossible, shall be possible. God will take you to a greater height, God is opening your book of Remembrance, because you are next inline to be favoured in Jesus Christ name.

One thing is clear in this world, no one can succeed alone. No one can go it all alone. We all need God and we need good, informed and inspired people to make it in our respective callings in life. This simply means that we are one another’s strength. I am because you are and you are because I am. Whether we plant or water, we are a team..You might not understand this sometimes when things are not going towards this direction,and you might decide to go solo..Yes, you can go all the way, but one thing is clear that you can move faster with the help of one or two people with you. That makes you a team player.. WHO IS MOVING WITH YOU???

Its quite a normal trend for every guy to wanna go after every pretty/sexy gal they sight. Some guys don't even wanna know if she's pretty or not! As long as she's feminine enough they're all on her tails. Very normal....yet as normal as this may seem, self control and esteem is key. As a man, whether its online or in reality, have some dignity and control. Running after just any chic cuz she looks good enough is not cool. It takes the fun out of the chase game when you chasing 50gals at the same time. Allow me tell us a lil story: A very beautiful 19yr old gurl went to get tested for hiv and was diagnosed positive. With no feeling of remorse, she tucked her hiv test result in her bag and walked away all smiles. No sort of orientational talk was given to her. She just left feeling like it was her against the world of randy loose men. She knows there are tons of loose teabags on facebook ready and willing to go balls deep and wet just at the snap of her fingers. She begins to upload a lot of provocative and suggestive photos of her body with very volatile captions and just as she envisaged, the dudes troop in in their numbers. Some to lambast,some to chastize and some to indulge the immorality she's selling. She agress to meet with So many guys in the pretence of being an innocent teenager hoping he goes for it when she shows up. She meets the first 10guys and bam!! They hit it and contact hiv MORAL LESSON??? - Guys? Have it big or small? Keep ur measurements to urself respect urslf and refuse to join the bandwagon of hegoats on the social media and on the streets. - Not every gal you see who looks so good on the internet is healthy. Some are just walking corpses waiting to expire and looking for who to expire with. - You may actually save ur life just by behaving urslf and not being randy. - Get a gurl you really like, chase her and only her to the last...hold her down and stay put with her. - If you don't have any girlfriend or can't get any, pls sit ur ass down you won't die. Turn ur attention to success and achieving and the ladies would come for you you'll even be the one to select which gurl best suites you. - Use a condom if you must get laid with just about any strange chic - Apart from diseases, sex is spiritual. Becareful who you share ur essence with lest ur destiny gets tampered with by supernatural forces. Not every beautiful gal you see is human. Beware!! These are those days and you better believe its here. A word usually is enough for those whose ears are receptive to the truth and brains active to reason. HAVE A LOVELY DAY AHEAD.

The Conference of Speakers has expressed happiness over release of the kidnapped children of the Speaker of Kogi State House of Assembly, Lawal Jimoh. The abducted children regained their freedom at the weekend. In a statement signed by the Speaker of Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly and Chairman of the Conference of Speakers of State Legislatures, Sam Ikon, the forum commended the professionalism of the security agencies for working round the clock to ensure the safe release of the children. The forum, which also thanked the government and the people of Kogi State for their support, solicited the support and cooperation of Nigerians for President Goodluck Jonathan in the task of fighting insurgency and kidnapping bedevilling the nation. It pledged its support and indeed, the support of the state lawmakers in the country to Mr. President in his fight against the menace.

THE huge toll that traffic accidents exact in the country has attracted global concern, as Nigerian roads have been adjudged the most dangerous in Africa. A recent report by the World Health Organisation (WHO) on road traffic deaths in selected African countries says Nigeria accounts for the highest fatalities with 33.7 percent per 100,000 population every year. According to the report entitled “Road Safety in the WHO African Region”, more than one in four traffic accident deaths in Africa occur on Nigerian roads. The report also claims that road accident is the third leading cause of death in Nigeria. This places Nigeria as having the second worst traffic fatalities in the world. South Africa closely trailed Nigeria. It came second with 31.9 percent per 100,000 population, followed by DR Congo, Ethiopia, Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda. In the same report, Africa was listed as the “least motorized out of the six continents in the World, but suffers the highest rates of road fatalities” of the 37 countries that the survey covered, with death rates well above the average of 18 deaths for 100,000 population. The fatality figures for USA and Britain are 15 and seven percent, respectively. Altogether, the WHO report confirms the grim reality of the carnage on our roads. By all accounts, the survey calls to question the safety of roads in the country. It also highlights the recklessness of many of our drivers, the poor maintenance of our vehicles and our numerous dilapidated roads with several bad spots that have become deathtraps and dens of robbers. The frightening statistics call for immediate action by government and other relevant road safety and maintenance agencies. It is also a challenge to all road users and stakeholders in the country. The outcome of the WHO survey corroborates reports from the Federal Road Safety Commission (FRSC) that the rate of traffic deaths in the country is alarming. For instance, in 2009, deaths resulting from road accidents were 7000, with 969 of them children. In 2010, according to WHO, Nigeria recorded 5,279 deaths from road crashes. Between January and June, in the following year, 2218 lives were lost in 2234 accidents, while 3000 persons died in road accidents between January and October 2012. Road accident statistics have particularly been on the upward swing in the cities No doubt, this is the time for swift action to stem the trend. We need enlightenment campaigns on the importance of containing accident rates in the country to reduce the avoidable loss of lives. There should be adequate surveillance of our highways by road safety officials. Needful of particular attention are the Lagos/Benin highway and the Zariaga end of the Abuja-Okene highway in Kogi State, where heartrending deaths have been recorded in recent times. There is no gainsaying the fact that many of the highways across the country have become deathtraps due to a combination of factors, among them, the poor state of the highways and recklessness of the drivers. While we urge all tiers of government in the country to hasten the rehabilitation of the roads under their jurisdiction, the FRSC should double its efforts on promotion of road safety. Let the agency design fresh strategies to regulate the operation of different categories of vehicles, especially the articulated trucks, to reduce road accidents. Drivers should also be enlightened on how to avoid traffic accidents. The Commission should not restrict its safety campaigns to the end of the year, or the “ember months”, as the last four months of the year are called. The campaigns should be an all-year round affair. It has become glaring from both the FRSC statistics and the latest WHO report that road traffic deaths have become one of the worrisome problems that require urgent attention in the country. As our economy grows, it is estimated that the volume of traffic in the country will increase from eight million at present, to 40 million by 2020. This calls for all hands on deck to safeguard lives.

The Nigeria Inter-bank Settlement System (NIBSS) Plc has disclosed that deposit money banks are set to commence the roll out the Bank Verification Number (BVN) registration of customers by next week. In a statement, NIBSS said the roll out signifies end of the pilot phase of the project during which over 7,000 BVN were issued by 21 deposit money banks and NIBSS to existing internal bank customers. NIBSS stated the enrolments and BVN issuance were achieved across 44 bank sites that include 21 bank headquarters. The inter-bank system is coordinating the project, sponsored by the Bankers’ Committee. The former Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), Mallam Sanusi Lamido, introducing the pilot phase of the BVN project deployment, which was scheduled to run to May 31, 2014 after which full roll out to bank branches was to commence. Commenting on the development, the Managing Director of NIBSS, who doubles as the Head of the BVN Project Management team, Mr. Ade Shonubi, said the pilot phase of the BVN registration of bank customers served as a model and basis for roll out of the solution to existing bank customers. According to him, all Nigerian banks have their headquarter servers configured, deployed and tested, and had their staff trained before engaging in enrolment and verification of end users who are mainly internal customers. He explained: “Feedback from application usage and experience were collated, analysed and shared with solution provider to ensure seamless service delivery during eventual roll out. “We are adopting a phased roll out approach starting with Lagos State. It commences on June 16, 2014, at 1,000 bank branches, after taking out the pilot branches, out of the 1,410 bank branches in the state. Across the nation at full roll out, 10,000 enrolment sets will be deployed across 5,000 bank branches, implying deployment of two enrolment sets per bank branch. “In line with the commitment of the CBN and the Bankers’ Committee to the financial enlightenment of Nigerians, all possible knowledge gaps will be closed through bespoke awareness programmes, customer education and engagement initiatives to ensure massive uptake of BVN by existing bank customers. He further explained that, “the BVN initiative involves the capturing of an individual’s basic biometric data information, which includes the facial image, the 10 fingerprints as well as other unique features of that individual. It will utilise the biometric technology system for verification and secure authentication of the identity of bank customers and ultimately as a means of authenticating customer’s identity at point of banking transactions. “It gives the bank customer a uniform and single identity called the Bank Verification Number (BVN) that will be acceptable across the Nigerian financial system as all other bank accounts operated by this individual will be tied to that BVN.” He noted that the solution was to ensure accountability, check identity theft, reduce exposure to fraud and enhance credit advancement to bank customers, protect bank customers’ account from unauthorised access and also encourage financial inclusion.

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?" Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying, "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying. One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, "Humph! I'll fix her." He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!" At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord. When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"

In the early hours of May 31, about 12 heavily armed men stormed the Abuja home of Ademinokan, where Stella Damasus and her two daughters were said to have been living before they relocated to the United States with Ademinokan. According to The Nation, Ademinokan’s younger brother, who just returned to Nigeria, and his mother were the only persons in the house on the fateful day. It was gathered that the attackers insisted on getting Stella’s recent contact in the US, including her address and phone number, without success. The source said: “The men kept yelling at Daniel’s brother. They were saying, ‘Your brother and his wife think they can just open their mouths and say anything they like about the government, abi?’” The assailant, according to the source, didn’t take anything item away from the house because of the pathetic condition of Ademinokan’s mother, who is laid up with a stroke. Stella is known for actively speaking against domestic violence as well as her advocacy for sanity during the ‘Child Not Bride’ campaign. It would be recalled that, at the height of the campaign, she released a very daring video on YouTube, calling a particular serving Senator and his supporters paedophiles. A few weeks ago, after the abduction of over 200 girls from Chibok, Stella released another video addressing the government and accusing it of not asking for help from foreign allies. She is not bothered with the threats though, a few days ago she tweeted “No form of political bullying or intimidation will work! You can’t shut me up! I will stand and speak the truth, regardless of your tactics. ” As if that was not enough, she followed up with another tweet: “That is what Nigeria is known for; you say the truth…they try to silence you! It will not work on Stella Damasus. I cannot be intimidated.”